Monday, February 23, 2015

February 23, 2015

What´s good all!?
    I am doing so good! That´s for sure! Empalme is SOOOOOO amazing! The members, the life, the everything. It is kind of the joke of the mission...they call Empalme ´´En Polvo´´...which means ´´In Dirt.´´ Haha! So that explains where I am... But it is honestly so much fun! It is about 30 minutes outside of Quevedo. Other than that I don´t know a whole lot about it because I have been here less than a week. But, it only took a week to fall in love with it! We actually have a functioning fridge...and the biggest news of all time...a HOT WATER SHOWER??? WWWhhhhhhhhaaaaatttt?? I wasn´t quite sure if i was dreaming or not...i still don´t know if I am dreaming or not. I didn´t think that those existed. I forgot what the sense of hot water felt like on my skin. To be 100 percent honest though...I don´t really like it. I am officially accustomed to cold showers so I don´t use the hot water. 
    Am I an Ecuadorian or what?? ;)
     It has been funny to pass by all of our investigators and all of the members and talk about Elder J. Pretty funny to see all the broken-hearted teenage girls too...haha! But I am sure J is tearing it up wherever he is in the world...that is just the kind of dude he is! 
Tuesday was kind of nuts...
    My first real day and I had a one day exchange with an Elder from Quevedo in his sector. And it was Carnaval. The holiday of water, flower, and colors. To summarize everything...I got soaked. Absolutely drenched with water...TWICE. Then, just when I thought I had escaped the ruckus - I got attacked by hundreds of little kids with shaving cream. Hahahah! I was having the time of my life running from those little dudes! I am sure it was quite the sight...some white dude with over-sized white shirts, sunburnt, and soaking wet, running from a riot of niños! Too funny!
    I got bit by a chihuahua too.... A super ugly dog. I guess you could say it wasn´t my day...but it was just as good as all the rest when it comes down to it...AMAZING! :)
    Wednesday and Thursday I was on an exchange with the Leader of the Zone, Elder Y. He is from Bolovia and is so tight! I was still in Quevedo for both those days working hard with him and finalizing everything with the Stake President for Stake Conference which was this past weekend. 
    We taught a Jehova Witness...quite the time that was! We asked him to say the closing prayer and boy was that a mistake! We sat there for the next 20 minutes as he sang a song! haha! So that was a first! 
    I finally made it back to Empalme on Friday and FINALLY got to work in my new sector! 
    Lunch was legit! We had to climb like a 30 foot latter to get to the house to eat. I felt like the house was going to tip over the whole that didn´t help in the food settling in...but it was a neat experience. Then the Hermano hooked me up with his machete and I helped him cut down chocolate cool?? Not every day you can say you chopped down chocolate!
    Later that day we ran into the most incredible family. They are a less active family but the mother told us that the night before she prayed harder than she ever had before. She prayed for help. For guidance. And that Elder M and I came to her rescue. How humbled I am to be on The Lord´s errand and help answer the prayers of someone else. It is the best and most incredible blessing you can ever receive...seeing the work of salvation flow through the Lord´s hands and out your mouth. Nothing better.
    On Saturday, our lunch fell through so we headed back to the house and made pancakes. Or so they were called. It ended up just being we made the pancake-mush-goop-poop and then realized that we didn´t even have syrup. Thank goodness we are in the land of bananas! So we had pancake-mush-goop-poop with bananas and called it good! Life of a missionary...hahah!
    We got to go to the Priesthood session of Stake conference which went really well...but the ride back was the best.
    I sat by a man who was unable to walk. He was traveling from Quito, without money, without a job, without his children or wife, and without hope in his life. I was blessed with the opportunity to talk to him and share various scriptures about our Heavenly Father and the blessings that He has in store for this man. I got to pay for his bus ticket and buy him some food too. I felt so great after. So humbled. And I hope, more than the food or the bus ticket, that this man was able to feel of the love of our Savior. 
Keep Hermano A in your prayers! :)
    The Sunday Conference was great too! Our ward filled up a bus and we all headed down together! So great! We couldn´t even sit down on the bus because there wasn´t even room...that´s a good sign! It means that the Lord´s work is progressing! I would stand up for eternity if it meant that Our Heavenly Fathers children were going to His house to worship him! 
That was basically this week in a nut shell!
What else...
   The Taxi´s are super sketchy...I say a prayer every time I enter one. Haha! I am sure they are totally fine though mom :)
    All in all...I am continuing to love every second of every day! And I am sure I will have more stories and experiences next week...
but for now...
    I found myself this past week being overfilled with gratitude for my Savior and all that He has done and continues to do for man kind. Someone with such divine power and love has given me a life after death. Someone with such mercy and strength has given me a straight path back home.
And what have I given Him?
What could I ever give?
What could ANYONE ever do to somewhat repay our Savior? To show our love?
´´If ye love me, keep my commandments.´´
That verse really hit home for me and put things in perspective.
    Elder Noll, if you love me...if you are truly grateful for all that I have done for you...if you want to know the only way to repay a fraction of a fraction of the sacrifice that I made for you...keep my commandments. Follow in my footsteps. Think my thoughts. Shine my light.
    After all our Savior has done for you I would hope more than anything that we can all have a desire to do it all for Him. That we can have a desire to love Him. And the only way we can do that is by doing exactly what He did. 
The invitation is short and sweet this week...LOVE THE LORD.
Let´s do everything within our power to, which is not a whole lot, to repay our brother, who gave us everything.
We are promised so much in return if we will just love our Savior.
We are promised to ´´abide in His love.´´
We are His ´´Friends´´ if we keep His commandments.
What could be better than abiding in the love of the Kind of all Kings?
What could be better than being called a friend of the one true God?
Here is my pregame fact it is my half-time speech because we are already in the game...
To keep the commandments is hard. To win this game is going to be a struggle. You will be tested. You will be weakened. You will be judged. You will be hated.
´´If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.´´
Our Savior KNOWS. Look to HIM!
To His light. To His love.
    Salvation is not and never will be easy. You are going to have to give a whole 100% effort because anything less that that does not deserve the blessings that will come from doing so. Anything less that 100% does not deserve the Kingdom of God.
The other team is strong. They are tough. They are big. They are smart.
But YOU are stronger. YOU are tougher. YOU are bigger. YOU are smarter.
It is a new half! It is a new day!
Elder Noll

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Fenruary 17, 2015

HEY ALL! What´s good, homies?! All is good in the hood on this fine Tuesday!

This week is a holiday here in Ecuador called Carnaval. To sum it up...there are thousands in the streets soaking people with water, paint, and dirt. It is quite the party...especially when you are wearing a white shirt and everyone wants to "GET THE GRINGO!!!"I am loving it! We couldn´t email yesterday because all of the cybers were closed, so here I am today!

This past week has been LEGENDARY!
On Monday night we had Family Night with Hermana K...and it was our last :( But the shrimp and bananas were too good!

There was this little dude there...NEVER have I seen someone eat so much. I couldn´t finish my food and after having THREE servings...this dude went for a fourth and finished off my plate. What a champ, right? He is 9 years old...but he is so chill. He was there with his mom...I don´t know...I could just tell that something was different about this little guy (apart from his eating ;)). He was so happy. He was so respectful. So humble and submissive. When him and his mom left I asked everyone what this family's story is. It turns out his father passed away a few months ago. Now he just lives with his mom and he works to help provide for him, his mom, and his baby sister.  No wonder this little boy was different. How humbled I am to have been in the presence of someone so strong. People have it so much harder than we do and are so much stronger and enduring than we are. Let us all look to this little boys example and submit to all things. Be happy! There is never a reason to be down! :)

Tuesday was quite the experience too! Early in the morning we passed by a house and a giant man walked out and started to talk to was more of a yell the point where I was a little scared. He is a Pastor. He was kind of tearing us apart and wouldn´t give us the chance to reply...finally after about 10 minutes we just decided to leave. As soon as we turned away he yelled "HEY!"So we turned back. Then he said, "I'm just messing with you guys! Come to my house for lunch." That was a quick turn of events. LUNCH WITH A PASTOR! So we accepted...and boy was it incredible! We had fish, shrimp, and bananas. It was pretty tight. The fish was HUGE! Like...pretty much my head...haha! It was a little different eating the fish...eyes...guts...everything...but hey...that´s life! This man was truly so kind though. I loved to hear him talk about all the blessings he has received from our Heavenly Father. He was so humble. He was constantly thanking us for our service as missionaries and for our example to him...and he is a PASTOR...for a different religion! How incredible? 

We got to go to a farm earlier in the was so tight! We helped out an older woman with her farm and some things around her home. SO FUN! Farm life in Ecuador is pretty awesome. So beautiful! SO green. I got to retrieve coconuts and mango which was aweomse...I am horrible at it...but it was so fun!

And I killed a chicken! It was the most brutal thing I have ever done. It is kinda hard to explain...I didn't even cut its head off. They wouldn't let me! So with one hand I held it by its feet and with the other hand I held it by its neck. Then I just kinda twisted it like you do a soaking wet shirt until its eyes popped out and I heard a couple of cracks and its jugular popped out of the poor guys skin...then I had to hold it by its feet until it died completely. It was still flapping strong with its head dangling by a few threads...nasty. That was a bit descriptive...sorry! It was awesome though! :)

What more? I made banana bread! The L family wanted me to make it so I did! Man I should probably stick to microwave pizza...I burnt that sucker baaaadddd. But I ended up just flipping over the side that was burnt to you couldn't see it and served it anyway. Everyone still chowed it perhaps it wasn't TOO bad...haha! But it was fun! 

One night I dumped a massive amount of water on a woman that was passing by on the sidewalk below our house...still laughing at that one! It was definitely a good time. She isn´t the only one that got water dumped on her though...I have definitely had my fair share of being bombarded with water throughout these past few days. Especially the little niños! Those little dudes...they are relentless!

And Hermana K bought me a cake and threw me a 6 month party! Haha! It was so nice of her! That family is the bomb!

Valentines day was a little different I was really cool to represent and show love in a better and more powerful way. The way Christ showed and continues to show His love. 

Finally, on Sunday night I got a call and they informed me that I needed to be in Quevedo the following day! My first real cambio! I was so sad to leave Ventanas. It seems like I am leaving home and my family all over again. But the Lord has a plan for us all and I have full faith that Quevedo is where I need to be. I am so excited for this next chapter in my mission to start...and even more excited to let the Lord write it!

When I got to Quevedo yesterday they told me that I would be going to Empalme! Elder J´s same exact sector! How cool?! But Elder J had changes too and I am with his old companion, Elder M! He is the biggest stud! He is from Canada, AY. Played Canadian Football...I will talk more about him next week because I have to write a spiritual message! But Empalme is amazing. My companion is dope! and I am loving it already!

Something that has really been on my mind lately is how The Lord sees us. I love how The Lord´s vision is described in 1 Samuel 16:7 - But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart.

The truth is that NOTHING that you have in this life, besides your heart and its desires, matter to the Lord. There is nothing that you can buy or wear and nowhere that you can go that will change the Lords vision. His vision of your heart. At times we feel as if we have to do everything possible to impress others through our outward appearance and earthly possesions...but why?

Think to yourself...The most powerful being in the universe, with the most undefying and everlasting love, in whom all things are possible, and of whom we looking right at your heart. Right at your beautiful soul. Right at who you are and what you truly can become. Our loving Heavenly Father and our God loves us so much that I truly believe He thinks of us as Gods!. We are EVERYTHING to Him. And if His eyes are zeroed in on our hearts, our hearts should be zeroed in on Him and how he sees us. His opinion is a whole lot more important than anything or anyone else!

PRINCIPLE NUMBER ONE: The Lord sees us for who we truly are and what we truly can become. His vision of our hearts should mean everything to us. So before you seek for a ´´better you´´ or for others to see a ´´better you´´ for a better heart.
PRINCIPLE NUMBER TWO: We should see others in the way that the Lord sees us. When we see others we should picture them crowned with celestial glory in the Kindgom of God. Look upon their heart. Realize their potential. No matter who they are or where they come from. We are all from the same family and we are all on the same team.

I promise that as we live with these two principles in mind the windows of heaven will open and you won´t know what to do with all of the many blessings that you receive and the testimony you will obtain. Purple skin or orange skin, a non functional vw bus or a Mercedez, short or tall...none of that matters. All that matters is your beautiful, God-Given, fully capable, and pure heart.
Always keep that in mind!
I am out of time but never out of love!
Have an incredible week America!

Monday, February 9, 2015

February 9, 2015

Hey All!
How is it going over there in civilization?! Hopefully TOO good! :)
I can´t remember if I told you guys about my backpack, I will tell it again anyway just in case...
I started out the week with buying a new backpack...but I wasn´t going to buy anything for more than $5! Haha. We missionaries run on a tight budget! ;) But I was bargaining with this dude forever! And he wanted like $15 or something...
So i just decided to throw in the towel...but Elder Dn was like..."watch this"...
within 20 seconds he bought the bag for $5. Having a little midget Latino has its perks I guess!!! :D
So I am always talking about the family Liverio...they are the coolest family ever! They feel like my own family...they are my own family. There is Hermana R (56), L (30), J (22), A (15). L has 3 little girls and they are my reason for life! Haha! Seriously the cutest girls ever! Anyway, we are super tight with this family. They are all our converts and it has been so cool to see the change within their home. I can´t really explain how close we are with them. R lost her husband a number of years ago and L´s husband works far away so we help them out with a lot of things because the younger two are always working to provide for the fam bam. The other day I was on a split with J...and I was STARVING. I walked in their house and said, "I AM HOME!!" Then I walked strait to the fridge and ate the Bolon and queso (which is banana and cheese: don´t is better than it sounds). Haha! Hermana R just laughed and told me to enjoy! They are seriously so awesome!
We had quite the scare though! L fell from the top of the house because they don´t have stairs. They are always using this super sketchy ladder. And L is like 38 months pregnant! She had to spend a few days in the hospital so we spent some time over there with her and R and the kids and got to give her a blessing. Somehow she went from unbearable pain and almost losing the baby to being totally fine and back at home. THE PRIESTHOOD IS THE POWER OF GOD! That I testify of! Its power is of the Heavens and miracles are wrought through it. It has been such a tender mercy in my life and it was so cool to see it work in the life of this beautiful family. 
 I will say...I hope I never have to spend the day in a hospital like this AC...super dirty...and I forgot the word in english but her room was right next door the place where the dead people go...and that about sums it up! Haha!
So last week I put my Tracy Noll Apron on...
This week I put my Gary Noll tool belt on!!!
We helped them build stairs! It was SWEET! They turned out pretty good too! So now they have a safer way to get up and down.
It was tough work...I was sweating, sawing, and bleeding...but don´t worry...Elder D is quite the measurer!! :)
Lunch the other day was interesting...they have this thing called Yapin Gachu or something like that. It is potatoes, sausage, corn, and peanut butter. Yummy, right? NOT! The peanut butter isn´t even real peanut many of you like to eat peanut butter with onions, pepper, and garlic in it?? So I am still facing the affects of that meal if you know what I mean...
I had an intercambio the other day...I went to Catarama which is about 30 minutes from Ventanas....and I hope I never have to return! Haha! It is cool and all...but Ventanas is obviously just better! And we taught these 2 investigators who are absolutely in love with the Elder I was on the intercambio with...well...they WERE in love with him until I came...I was kinda getting sick of them staring into my soul and laughing and everything I had to say...I wasn´t even trying to be funny...I was talking about prayer for Pete sakes! 
But I guess it´s still cool to know that I still got my swag... ;)
We were blessed with another Baptism! The only problem is that the font was clogged since our last one last week...there were cockroaches, spiders, hair, leaves, and other little brown things that I am not going to investigate what they were...just FILTHY. We ended up having to buy this soap and drop it in the water. Within 30 seconds the water was completely blue. Too blue. Haha! Blue to the point where you could not see the bottom of the font and when you came out of the water you looked like Marty from Big Fat Liar. But we followed through with the Baptism! The Baptism was incredible! One of my favorites actually! We have been teaching Hermana D for quite a while and she finally made the decision to be baptized! We are thrilled! I was so humbled when I had the blessing of raising her out of the water...she was speechless...and so emotional. AH, it was unreal. The spirit was incredible. The changes that this gospel can bring never fail to amaze me. And HEY! I guess there are some pretty holy cockroaches now too! ;)
Hmmm...little details...
I got to teach the sunday school class which was really fun!
I lent someone my pen and when they gave it back I put it back in my pocket without the lid...and then I got smashed in the door (don´t ask) and the pen exploded all over my white shirt...that was a bummer! I got a good laugh out of it though! 
One of our converts gave a talk! It was incredible! It was truly amazing to see someone who has less than 2 months with the gospel in their life give a talk and bare witness of their savior better than anyone ever could. The joy that I experience and that everyone has the ability to experience is unreal. It is so sweet and so joyous. 
Hmmm...Que Mas?!
I am loving it here in Ecuador! Elder D (Elder of Lion) and I are loving it and working hard! 
Someone tell me about life in the US! I hardly hear anything from over there! Hit me up! 
I guess it´s just that time! My favorite part of the week probably...SPIRITUAL MESSAGE!! :)
There are not many things that I love more in this life than looking into a child's eyes. Number one, they are adorable. All of them...that´s a given. But more than anything, being in the presence of someone who is so ´´submissive, meek, and humble´´ is something that I thrive off of. Someone who is so loving. So trusting. So teachable.
It´s no wonder The Lord has asked us to become like one!
For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yieldsto the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the naturalman and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a childsubmissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
As a human being, the natural desire of our heart is to live contrary to the teachings and commandments of God. But as I think of the natural desire of a child's heart all that comes to mind is their desire to walk, to learn, to love, to laugh, and to grow. Little children have literally just left the presence of our Heavenly Father. That is probably why they are so much like Him. PERFECT. Let us all become like one! The more childlike we become in our spirits the more Christlike we become in our souls. 
It is hard to put aside the natural things of the world. It is hard to put off the ´´natural man´´. But it is something we have to is something that we were born to do. Because YOU are NOT natural.
YOU are anything but natural. You are a child of the Almighty God of the Universe with the capacity and foreordination to become just like Him.
That is not natural.
So put every single natural desire aside...
when you are tired and don´t want to pray or read your scriptures...
when your patience is at its final straw...
When the natural man tells you to put off a mission...
Become like a CHRIST...and SUBMIT and LEARN.
When you fall...physically, spiritually, or emotionally...don´t give in to that natural voice who tells you to stay down. Become like unto a child who picks themselves up time after time after time and walk! Strive to be better.
For parents...
as you set your child down for the night, as you clean the crayon off of the wall, as you buy your daughters special designer jeans, and as you clean your sons sweaty football jersey, thank your Heavenly Father for your sacred calling and humble yourself enough to learn from your children. To become like your children. I hope that when I have the special and sacred calling to be a dad I can follow in the footsteps of my children and be ´´willing to submit to all things´´.
I testify that as we strive to live the live of a loving, humble, selfless, submissive, and perfect child of God, we are only becoming more and more like God Himself. As we become like a child we are inheriting all that God has in store for us...and what He has in store for you is a whole lot more than natural.
Love, Elder Noll

Monday, February 2, 2015

February 2, 2015

What's good US crew?!
Hopefully everything! Let's see...I hit the gym early this morning, ate some bananas, studied hard, did my laundry with my hands and a rock, and now I am here in a cyber! And it has 2 fans instead of 1...could life be better?? Haha!
This week has really been a great one! As usual...
Other than my water experience...good grief...haha! We have to buy these huge water jugs to drink because all the water here is contaminated. I think they are 7 gallons. So they are super heavy and super big. Anyways...I bought one of them for the week and we were making the half mile journey back to the house with the jug on my back. At first I was dying...SO, SO, SO heavy. Especially after a day of walking in the blistering heat! But for some reason every step I took the jug seemed to get lighter and lighter. Man was my confidence sky rocketing. I was getting stronger and stronger! So I swagged all the way back to the house and by the time we got there the jug seemed like nothing. Well...that's because that's what it was. NOTHING. It actually had a hole in the bottom so all of the water was leaking out. So 1...I wasn't getting stronger. 2...I had to buy another jug of water. 3...everyone was staring at the white boy with water all over his light gray pants thinking that I had quite the urination problem! Haha! But it's all good...I have accepted my whiteness by now ;)
That same night we heard the trash coming down the street...the garbage truck has a little song that plays super duper loud when they are collecting the garbage...AND WE HAD TONS of trash. And we observed that we were not going to make it down the stairs with all of the trash in time. So we put our thinking caps on...actually we didn't...we basically took them off and just played basketball with our trash. Throwing the bags of trash off of our 3 story house and into the truck. It was pretty tight. Elder D and I do need to work on our shooting skills though. It was fun though! The garbage man wasn't too happy...hah! We told him we were sorry though...I hope he heard us ;)
It has been raining and raining and raining...with the mixture of heat, humidity, and rain...I can honestly say that I have not been dry for a single second in the past 4 1/2 months I have been here in Ecuador. Haha! And I love it! Tuesday night it was actually a little cold for the first time though...cold for here at least. Look at me talking about cold while you Utah'ns are in your houses crying because it probably just snowed 3 feet...sorry! But I was cold! We ended up heading over to the L's...the coolest family in the world...we had hot chocolate, Elder D made some tortillas and we shared a spiritual message with them. It was a blast! I was in charge of the hot chocolate! :) But as I was stirring...doing my thang... A rat the size of small human being crawled down the wall...oh dear! I can't explain it through email! Way too hard to express the emotions I felt in that moment. And the worst part is that nobody else saw it. I swear I saw it! So I was the only one who was scared. I finished making the hot chocolate while standing on a chair so that it couldn't get me if it returned :) Luckily we didn't have another encounter with the beast though! But Hermana L told me to test the hot chocolate- so I did...I didn't even think about the fact that it had been cooking over the stove for 20 minutes though...I burnt the snot out of my tongue! I still can't taste anything...I think the only thing that comes into your mind as a missionary is what scripture to share ;)
The next day, our lunch appointment fell we went and bought all of the supplies to make American baked potatoes and I put my "Tracy Noll Apron" on and played chef! ;) We had some ranch packets too that Elder P forgot when he headed to Guayaquil so it really did complete the American baked potato. I prepared them at the L's so that they could try them too. I guess I did okay! Obviously I got nothing on THEE TRACY NOLL. But it was worth a try. Everyone liked them though! 
I can't remember if I have already said this or not...but I am going to say it again anyways...
I am the dude that gets to count how many people are at church! How awesome?! Ever since I was a kid I have always wanted to be the guy with the fancy pen that takes count. So there's accomplished! 
So I hear the Patriots took the bowl! Cool cool. I know the Vikes will get it next year! ;)
What else is going on with life?! 
Things are so good here. Honestly soooo good. 
I am still here in Ventanas where I started...and I would end here if I could. I love it here so much! The work, the atmosphere, the people, everything! Forget Hawaii!!! ;)
With the little time I have left I just wanted to testify of the truthfulness of the Book of Mormon.
1: The Lord tells us that His word will be fulfilled through 3 witnesses (2 Corinthians 13:1). Obviously we have the first 2...the old testament and the new testament. But with the third witness, the Book of Mormon, we have the fulfillment of The Lord's teachings. Without it we don't have a sufficient amount of Christ's teachings to return to live with our Heavenly Father again.
2: From Psalms 85:11, we know that ''truth will spring out of the earth''...and where was it that Moroni buried the Golden Plates? There is a picture of it in the first few pages of your Book of Mormon if you need help! :) And where was it that Joseph Smith retrieved the plates from?? I testify that this truth that sprung from the earth was and is the Book of Mormon which is the word of the Almighty God and is another testament of His son, Jesus Christ.
3: I testify that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. I know that as a 14 year old boy, with ''flesh fresher than a child's'' and ''in the days of his youth'', Joseph Smith ''prayed unto God'' and was ''favorable in His sight'' and truly did ''see His face with joy'' (JOB 33:25-26). 
The honest truth is that we could go on for hours and find prophesy and evidence in the Bible of Joseph Smith and the Book of Mormon but the even more honest truth is that we don't have too!
The Lord promises us, through the Prophet Moroni, that if we read the Book of Mormon and pray to know if it is true the Holy Ghost will testify to our heart of its truth. I PROMISE that The Lord ALWAYS fulfills His promises. If you ask you will receive.
I know it because I received my own answer. It is something that I am unable to put into words. And all I can say is read and pray! Not only will you find an answer in regards to the truthfulness of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints but you can find an answer to all of the questions and doubts that life brings.
I know that Joseph Smith knelt in a grove and offered up his heart and soul to a God that he didn't know existed...and he saw Him face to face with His Son, Jesus Christ. You have the same marvelous blessing to kneel in your very own Sacred Grove and come to know God the Father and your Savior!
As you do this you will come to know that Joseph Smith was indeed a Prophet of God and that he did translate the Book of Mormon. You will know that the Book of Mormon is true and that it is another testament of our Savior, Jesus Christ. You will come to know that Christ lived for you. You will come to know that He suffered and died for you. And that He lived again...all for you. 
The teachings of the Book of Mormon are teachings that we cannot learn from anywhere else. You will learn more from the words in that book than you will from any math or science book. You will find more comfort, peace, and love from the words in that book that any Nicholas Sparks novel. And that's saying something!!!
When you have When you have When life is When life is Too many people died for this marvelous work and a wonder for you to not read it. Too many people gave everything for this sacred cause for us to not use it. 
Lastly, very shortly before young Joseph saw Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ face to face, he was ''held bound'' and ''seemed to be bound to sudden destruction''. I know that we are closest to the truth when we feel that we are the deepest in the dark that we could possibly be. We are closest to the light when we can't see. We are closest to our Padre Celestial when we feel He is not with us. 
Those who feel far from the truth, far from the light, far from happiness, distant from your Father in Heaven, or distant...YOU ARE ALMOST THERE!
Learn to kick it in the is where champions are made. 
All God's have to start somewhere...
Elder Noll